I
miss
you!
Navigations above *points up*
I was born to tell you I love you...
I'm sorry I took so long...
for my baby;
Lady of perfection,
Do not be afraid.
You are not alone.
You have me to share your bed.
Lay the bed and set it up,
In crimson or in white.
Lay you down as so do I,
In brilliant blinding light.
If death comes for you.
Let it take me too.
Without you there is no life.
For I have life in you.
1) Completely and utterly lost
2) Desparingly lacking self confidence
3) 180 degrees wat i've been feeling for the past few days
4) Thinking that my life is quite pointless
5) Contemplating suicide (tat was abt 5 mins ago, decided not to do it, don't have the balls)
6) a coward, because i can't even pick up a blade and take the easy way out...
I didn't know you could feel, be and do so many things at the same time. Wow. Thats a discovery... Why is there so much lifeless-ness in life... quite contradictory... What are we all living for? Or wat am i living for? Honestly its one of those times i wish i was taller so i could see this maze I call my life.
Why the hell do we even bother?
Future walking bags of fodder.
The bridge is crossed but come no further.
Just fall and sink and feel the pressure.
Is there an interval? or an interlude? somewhere i can stop, look at my life and rest for even ONE friggin second?
God i really am pathetic aren't I? If rockbottom is blogging and talking to myself... I'm already there..
Thanks Tyler. For everything. You've been a really really good friend and I'm sure you'll continue to be through the brilliant invention of the internet and broadband.
On the bright side, i got to see sheril today! It was great really... really really good. I got to see her and i bought her this cute little bear from memory lane. Its really cute and cuddly... snuggly... hehe. She really likes it, I'm glad. I was so worried she wouldn't... It was worth it. Its been a little over 3 months and although ours may not be the smoothest of relationships, its been a relationship that i have come to love and appreciate. Its something i would now die for because no matter wat people tell me or however they try to convince me that im wrong, i love her. With all my heart, mind and soul i love her. With every fibre of my being, I love her. And i always will...
Thanks for always being there for me. Although we've both hurt each other come countless times, we've learnt alot abt each others habits and traits and understanding someone is always better than tolerance. I've learnt so much from this relationship and the number of times its brought tears to my eyes (both happy and sad) and emmense feelings that well up in my chest and move up my throat... its magical. Every single second. I may be young and alot of you may say that i have no idea what im talking abt but believe me when i say this... A relationship is made up of hardship, joy and pain. Its up to you, whether or not ur gonna do anything abt it. And to me, this relationship, no matter what it may look like to you, is the most rewarding thing in my life.
Herbie and incidentally his funeral co-incided with the launch. Sad irony.
Anyway, i went for the movie with sheril, tanisha and farah. It was really nice spending time with sheril again... we hardly ever get to do it anymore. The movie was ok la... not bad. Lindsay Lohan was annoying... she kept screaming for the first half of the movie... But i didn't really care much because i wasn't really paying much attention to the movie... hehe... snuggle snuggle. Ahemm... anyway, after the movie we went to go eat but we had to discuss so much and in the end only me and sheril went to eat. We went to Little Penang on William and Kevan's invitation. It was pretty nice... but sheril didn't eat! Hmph. William was nice enough to pay for me and sheril against my wishes. Haha. Then me and sheril went to eat ice cream... 13 bucks for two scoops... ouch... then after that we went to get her that handphone cover she needed. I also got her a Digi sim pack cos its cheaper to call. Its now very cheap to talk... hehe.
By the time we got everything it was already 2.15 so sheril had to go wait for her mom... that sucks. Why does she have to go back so bloody early...? Thats fucked up la... anyway, we went to delifrance or more like outside delifrance to wait for her mom... we spent or time being decent and talking and holding hands a bit... sigh... so sad la... but i really enjoyed spending time with her. All in all, yesterday was a pretty good day. But now, i AM broke and i shall suffer... sigh...