I
miss
you!
Navigations above *points up*
I was born to tell you I love you...
I'm sorry I took so long...
for my baby;
Lady of perfection,
Do not be afraid.
You are not alone.
You have me to share your bed.
Lay the bed and set it up,
In crimson or in white.
Lay you down as so do I,
In brilliant blinding light.
If death comes for you.
Let it take me too.
Without you there is no life.
For I have life in you.
This is just a lot of thoughts and stuff so it may not make sense to some but it may make perfect sense to others. Hehe. Winter came to soon.
Summer's coming late and
Everything in life,
Seems to fade away and
When all the things around,
Seem to be meaning nothing,
When all the words you hear,
They seem to leave no bearing.
When you have nowhere to go,
Street corner's feel like home and
When you have no one to Love....
Everything in life seems to suck,
You're running endless nowhere,
When you have nowhere to turn,
There's always something to learn.
Everything in life is for now,
This world is temporary
Things change in moments somehow,
Things more than ordinary.
Pls take me back to the day,
When there was no sorrow,
Pls let me live in the days,
Where no one knew tomorrow.
So much for wishful thinking,
It all ends sometimes somehow,
But let me beleive what I sing,
If only for now... ~Temporary by Aaron Teoh, first poem I wrote in 2005'
Was feeling pretty shitty yesterday, had food poisoning and fever so i couldn't blog and didn't go to skool today cos of the food poisoning. So anyway, i went to skool for the first time in like wat seemed to be a really short holiday. So i spent my class time sleeping and freezing, and the last 2 hours of the day sleeping in the museum. My skool is small so our so called "museum" is a resting place for sick ppl and visitors too. Anywayz, didn't feel really good when i got home, so i popped two panadols and went to bed. Thank God I felt better when i woke up cos it was just in time for me to leave for ykls. Thank god... It would've been a super lousy day if i was stuck with the first day of skool without ykls practice. It was really cool.
Its a pretty sad tale so stop now if ur tired of my depressing life... Not enough, fine. Read on then. So anyway, there's this particular girl, I will not mention names and if u know me, you'll understand why ur gonna have a hard time figuring out which girl im talkin abt cos honestly, i have too many that i mention that no one knows who im talkin abt and thats the way i want it to stay. Well anyway, i've always thought that we were close friends but i don't think so now. Its like, she's remembering everyone and im just here. Like some friggin statue. If this is close i wonder wat it would feel like if she hated me. And god i really can't stand it cos she's talkin lots abt being such a fucking mature minded person and the bigger person in the situation and all that crap when i know thats full of crap. Hello, i mean if being the bigger person is saying sorry when you're wrong, I'm the bigger person. If being good and quiet and keeping ur peace is being the bigger person, im the bigger person. If i can love and sacrifice everything and let myself be hurt by you over and over and over again but not bitch abt it to anyone, then im the bigger person.
If being the bigger person means caring abt yourself all the fucking time, you're the bigger person. If being the bigger person is seeming close to someone and flirting with everyone else, you're the bigger person. If being the bigger person means you can hurt ppl and not feel bad abt it, you're the bigger person. If being the bigger person means forgetting a friend, you're the bigger person. If being the bigger person is being the most self centered heartless bitch I've ever had the misfortune of meeting or falling in love with, you're the bigger person. If being the bigger person means lying to me and telling me you EVER had feelings for me when you were never serious, when you don't give a fuck abt me, then you're the bigger person.
God you self-centered bitch, i really wish u all the fucking best. You're gonna fuck up ur life if u go on like this, but u don't care. You're gonna break a lot of hearts with that fucking attiude of yours but you don't care. Its not like you give a damn abt anyone other than urself. I wish i never met you. I wish i never knew you. You've already forgotten abt me and that was expected, so this is the last ur gonna hear abt this. I'm never gonna mention this EVER again. Forget when forgotten. And love when you're hurt...
Seasons change, they pass us by.
No use in wondering or asking why.
Why bastards live, good people die.
How life ends in a blink of an eye.
Remember the touch or the feel of a lover.
How they swore they would love no other.
Forget the pain you may have felt.
When you thought the final blow was dealt.
Cherish and love the one you hold dear,
They may not be forever near.
Now and always in our minds they are kept.
Or deep in our hearts where we have long slept.
Let this poem be my message to you.
To always love the one you hold true,
Forget me not in whatever you do,
Remember to love him as I love you.
~Untitled- =S Suggest a good title!!! I can't think of one. This poem now belongs to Cheryl Tan! Yay! Haha.
Nothing much has happened lately to be honest. Err I have determined that i cannot make up my mind abt a lot of things, i shall not go into specifics. Oh and i know that i wanna get male lip balm. Hahhaa. I know thats weird but yea thats me. *sigh. Ooh!!! I LOVE Tracy's Oakley shades!!! Hahaha. They're really nice. But kinda big. Hehe. But they're nice. Hehe. Too bad they cost like 800 bucks... ouch... that would really hurt. Anyway i got nothing else to write la so i shall go sleep now. bye bye
At 11.00 me and Cheryl bought the movie tickets for a movie starting ar 10.50 Hahha. So we get the popcorn and carrie and reggie come up and we go to our movie!!! It was really funny cos when the movie started all the sponsors or companies that contributed to the movie were Thai... Hahha. Then we were like... ei? nvm la. Lets just watch. Then they put on the title, The Unborn, a thai movie... Hahahhahaha. As it turns out, there was another movie at 3.30 and the ticket woman gave us those tickets instead of the 10.50 one. Hehe. So we walk out and get some guy to take us to the correct movie. Yay! We got to the movie and we didn't miss much.
Cheryl insisnts that it wasn't that late cos we made it in time for the first explosion. Hehe. Quite true. Ooh
and the first speach of the movie too!!!
Well i spent the rest of the movie getting my fingers sticky cos of the popcorn, perfumed by cheryl, playing with cheryl's hair, BRAIDING cheryl's hair. Don't ask, no idea... Hahahha. I was bored!!! and since i was shoved into corner (again) Cheryl was the only one sitting next to me. Hahaha. I pity her. Hahaha. Yeah so anyway the movie was ok la. Thats abt all that happened today la... Quite a boring day. But it was fun hanging out with them la. Hehe. Ooh and Cheryl now says that im metro!!! Yay! Oh and i have decided along with keith that I need to sleep more, eat more Vitamin C, and get a lip balm for guys. Hahhaa. I love this. Hehe.
Sheesh... I feel like blaming everything on someone... but i can't cos i don't even know why im angry or not satisfied with my life in the first place. I mean everyone seems to be know what they want or what they're doing. And I'm the only one that is totaly oblivious to this. Poems aren't going to be of much help here. I mean its like everyone is moving on towards whatever goal they've set but i have no idea where to go or what to do. I'm just stuck. This just all seems like a bit too much for me to take la... and I think the main reason im feeling like this is because I've been a lousy bf and i don't feel right abt it. I want to be loved. Not by a family member, but i just need love... and im screwing my relationship up. I just feel like I'm not doing anything good and i need someone and it can't be her... It just can't. God this is so screwed up. Just guide me godamnit. Someone just tell me what to do. Someone just love me...
Lost
where did you go,
when my sky cracked into a million pieces,
and the moon cried waxy tears,
where did you run,
when the wound bled vermillion drops,
and i was left without my sight,
how could you leave me,
when you said you'd never go,
but you left me holding the pieces of my heart,
why did you hide,
when I cried to you to find me,
I walked through the storm alone,
I am searching for you
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Actually, this is a very good piece of work. Poems don't always have to rhyme but it helps with the flow and rythm when u have a good rhyming scheme going. But the lack of rhyming here makes a lot of sense. It kinda symbolises how lost a person may be. When someone is lost, one can get very desperate, and when desperate, ppl do not really give much thought or time to the basics, like what ppl think of you etc etc. So in this poem, the feeling of being lost may be portrayed in the lack of rhyming. Also, in the non artistic sense, the lack of rhyming may be because she seems to be using a different rythm as well. So maybe the lack of rhyming was because it either didn't go with the rythm, or it was because the lack of rhyming enhanced the feel of the poem in its different rythm.
I like how she opened each stanza with a question, and the final line, in such symplicity is something like a reason to why she's lost and why she's asking. But what i enjoyed most abt the poem is the lines. Notice it goes by stanza, 3 lines - 3 lines - 3 lines - 4 lines? Its like no one was answering at first, not till the last stanza. It reminds me of the little girl in Schindeler's List, do you know that movie? Well its a very artistic movie. In the movie, there is a little girl and she's in a red dress but no one seems to notice her, the funny thing is, one person can, and the weirder part is the colour of her dress. Red. Cos the movie is in black and white. So whats she doin in red then? It represents the bloodshed you see. But in this poem, the little girl is actually the answer, the reason for the questions and the reason for the poem in the first place. "I am searching for you". Its the answer everyone knows, but no one will say. So this poem is very meaningful to me, and the last line has to be the best in simplicity, complecticity and truth. Good job. A very nice poem.
Skool is getting draggy and its only been the 3rd day... God damn how am i gonna finish my moral tugasan? honestly its full of crap and i hate moral. It only teaches you one thing. How to lie and get the right answer. Come on ppl , which one of us would take a beggar on the street home and clothe him and stuff? I'ld drop like 20 cents into his cup and walk of la. Seriously... bad but true.
Well just out of curiosity, do any of us really like hearring the truth always? I've heard girls say that its better if they're bf told them that they were cheating on them or like dun have feelings anymore... but i think human beings in general have no idea what the hell they want. Cos when the bf tells the girl, then the girl cries and shit and says stuff like, how could you be so heartless? then maybe other ppl get involved as well and say things like, dont tell her mar... you wanna hurt her izzit?
Sigh... then if the bf doesn't tell and she finds out herself then she will b like wat the fuck? *cry cry cry* I would have rather have it you tell me urself.... Sheesh... ppl really don't know what they want. Another example.... some ppl are just not ready for a relationship. Seriously. They like the idea of being together than actually being together. Thats why some couples are so quick.
This brings me to that line from "You've Got Mail". You know that Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks film? In one e-mail, he writes that places like starbucks are not selling coffee but self confidence. Think abt it. Who wants to pay RM10 for a cup of coffee? It really makes sense. I mean in life, ppl can't make big decisions in life, then again small decisions like wat to eat may be a problem too. So when you know exactly what you want, you actually feel better. Therefore going up to a starbucks counter and ordering is very good for confidence if u know exactly what you want. As said in the movie, they ask u 6 questions to order a cup of coffee. Black or White? Tall? Decaff? Latte? When you know exactly what you want in life, it becomes alot easier cos you feel better. Just a revelation for the day.
The ykls were all crazy. It was like so loud and everyone was screaming! And the best part is Alia, Max and Sha decided to stay. They were actually gonna leave but its soooo good that they didn't! Yay! So it was a really fun reunion. Yay! Joachim, Joel, Carrie and Reggie are still there!! And I got to see Kenneth and Chelsea! They're not gonna be performing with us this time. Taking a break. It was really good seeing you guys again. And warming up was something i never thought I would miss. Ooh! We got like 2 new bass singers. 2 new tenor 2's and a new tenor 1. Damn. I've decided that it doesn't pay to be a tenor. Its gonna be really hard to be noticed cos rite now, there are a lot of strong and good tenors. Kinda sad really. Don't think I'll be getting a solo this show or anytime soon. Don't have the voice quality. Oh well. Must try to train harder then. VERY hard. A lot of good tenors rite now. Haha. Well I gtg for dinner. So ciaoz..
Me, just bored as hell
And another one of my just staring into my com... Can you see my table? Its in a real mess but thats actually considered neat... so you can imagine how my room looks like...
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